Posted by Michele Peters on April 26, 19102 at 14:21:24:
In Reply to: Topic 5 posted by jakrat on April 19, 19102 at 13:49:41:
Good job.
Some comments:
You don't need the first sentence. It doesn't add to your essay.
Nevertheless I believe that it eventually give many disadvantages to my community as follows
You don't need to say "as follows" (but don't forget to put a period at the end of the sentence).
an air pollution
air pollution (no "an")
Besides water pollution would be occured due to contaminated substaces from chemical processes of the factory.
In addition, contaminated substances would cause water pollution
traffic problem
traffic problems or a traffic problem
I expect that I am always relax at home.
I expect to relax at home.
Don't forget to proofread.