Posted by Lin Lougheed on June 25, 19101 at 12:05:07:
In Reply to: Topic 128 posted by Daojun Wang on June 09, 19101 at 14:34:24:
You did not use three specific statements and examples. You only used two, but they were both good examples and you developed them well.
In paragraph two, there are some awkward sentences.
: First, I can accomplish my study more quickly.
First, I can get through my studies more quickly and more efficiently.
Four years college course at school, I have about twelve months wasted on vocation.
During the four years of college, there is about twelve months of vacation. These twelve months are wasted.
That means I can finish the same course at home in three years.
[There is no reference for the "that".
If I were to stay at home and follow the same course, I could finisih in three years.