Posted by Michele Peters on June 16, 19102 at 11:40:43:
In Reply to: 1 posted by ivy on June 05, 19102 at 00:48:53:
You make good points about why hard work leads to success but your essay could be stronger. Be sure to introduce your three reasons in the introduction. Then give three general statements; each general statement is a topic sentence. Each paragraph will need some supporting details. In your conclusion restate your three reasons. Indent the start of each paragraph and put a space between each paragraph.
Some other suggestions:
: A lot of people think that success is depend on good luck, and they
success depends on...
: Without hard work, can Tomas Edison invent the lamp? Without hard work, can a medical student become a doctor? Without hard work, can Mrs.Margret write such a famouce novel?
Replace "can" with "could"
famouce should be famous
can't do nothing without hard work.
can't do anything without
waiting for somebody coming to knock at the door, inviting you to be the CEO of a famous company.
...to come knocking and invite you...
luck mean.
luck means
People who work hard will be more luck more lucky