Posted by Nadia on August 07, 19102 at 07:11:43:
In Reply to: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning." posted by JOHN DE on August 06, 19102 at 11:18:36:
The essay is quite interesting, though I found some errors. First, I couldn't see whether you agree or disagree with the topic. It is very important to express your opinion, and to CHOOSE one way or another. You shouldn't evaluate the topic itself (the argument above is not so absolutely correct anyway...) you should be speaking about your view.
Also, I couldn't find topic sentence for two of your middle paragraphs.
Your conclusion doesn't resemle your statement in introduction, but it has to. Normally, you paraphrase your introduction to make a conclusion.
And:) I found some grammar mistakes. For example, ... views contradict our own (not: views contradict to our own); with people who do not agree with us (not: with people who IS contradict with us); if the people you are talking with have very different opinion (not: has very different opinion). There some more mistakes that I didn't mention.
If I were grading your essay I would give you a 4 out of 6.
Best regards,
Nadia.