Posted by Lin Lougheed on September 08, 19101 at 14:45:34:
In Reply to: You have decided to give several hours... posted by Alexander on September 01, 19101 at 03:15:59:
You clearly stated your position in the opening paragraph, and supplied supporting details in the following paragraphs. Congratulations.
You should review your work to fix some grammar mistakes and awkward sentences.
A few examples:
I have lived [IN] my town for 27 years [SINCE] I was born.
It might be more interesting if you name the city. "I have lived in Pusan for 27 years. In fact, I have lived there since I was born."
"It is located on the most southern area..."
It is located [IN] the southern most area..."
This sentence is very long:
"Major character of my hometown is that it is a famous tourism city in where has fabulous natural sightseeing places which make many tourists to visit this town every year."
"My hometown is a famous tourist destination. It has fabulous natural sites which attract thousands of tourists each year."