Posted by Lin Lougheed on October 05, 19101 at 15:36:54:
In Reply to: Essay topic 8 posted by Tosak Settharungson on October 04, 19101 at 21:54:05:
Very cohesive essay.
A few small comments:
"People who watch only unproductive shows, called passive viewers,..."
move the appositive phrase closer to the referent.
"People, called passive viewers, who watch only unproductive shows ...
The "shows" are not the "passive viewers."
It would even be better to simply write:
"Passive viewers who watch non-educational shows..."
There were a few places where you forgot the "s". This may be one.
People with positive attitude
People with positive attitudes
or better:
People with a positive attitude
"Instead, they go out for new and fresh experience with their acquainted."
"Instead, they go out for new and fresh experiences with their friends."
"Friends" is better than "acquaintances."