Posted by Lin Lougheed on March 27, 19102 at 19:08:38:
In Reply to: Number 63 posted by Pavani Vemuri on March 16, 19102 at 14:35:25:
Congratulations. You had three general ideas supported by good details.
Your first sentence is awkward. Try to bring yourself into the essay.
"Whether I work for an employer or whether I own my own business depends on my level of experience, my bank account, and my family situation.
This will open the door for the rest of your essay.
Good luck.