Posted by Michele Peters on May 25, 19102 at 14:46:21:
In Reply to: No181 posted by Phenie on May 13, 19102 at 19:44:41:
Your essay is good. You present and support your three reasons well.
Some suggestions:
Put a space between and indent each paragraph (intro, reason 1, reason 2, reason 3, and conclusion) to help the reader better follow your points.
feel relax, on the other word, people
feel relaxed
on the other word
I think you mean on the other hand however, this phrase is used to show a contradication and you are are adding to the point, not contradicting it. perhaps use "in addition" or "and"