Posted by Nadia on August 08, 19102 at 06:15:05:
In Reply to: the revised essay for "We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning." posted by JOHN DE on August 07, 19102 at 12:45:24:
Hello, John.
In my opinion the structure is better now. All the paragraphs have topic sentences and your conclusion resembles your introduction.
I think you have to pay more attention to grammar and vocabulary. In many cases you use singular verbs with plural subjects. Also some words are irrelevant and you can not use them in certain phrases. Try not to use too many unnecessary words.
Here are the examples of your grammar mistakes:
1. Only in some situations when we can not control our temper (not: like that we can control)
2. with people who do not agree with us (not: who is agree with us - people is plural and you have to use plural verb with it)
3. in some cases (not: in some chances - chance is something you are getting when you play at the casino or pass a test)
4. cannot give you any knowledge (not: cannot give you some knowledge to you)
There are some other mistakes. I just don't have much time today.
I will try to write my own essay on the same topic and post it on the web site. You can read and correct it too.
By the way, what country are you from?
I am from Russia.