Posted by Michele Peters on August 11, 19102 at 13:23:54:
In Reply to: 57 posted by Dennis Jiang on August 04, 19102 at 06:27:03:
You make good points. Separate each of your reasons into three paragraphs and put a space between them to help the reader follow.
Some comments:
commutation technology
communication
They do have brought us convenience,
Communication technologies have brought us...however, at the same time, they have made direct...
Through the direct contact,
Through direct contact,
interviewee or not as the manager can
...because the manager...
are also playing essential roles.
They play essential roles.
Restate all your three reasons in your conclusion.
Try breaking up your longer sentences into shorter ones. Doing so will make your essay clearer.