Posted by Lin Lougheed on September 08, 19101 at 14:51:31:
In Reply to: Your school has enough money to... posted by Christine on August 31, 19101 at 14:43:02:
You have carefully outlined your opinions and supported them with examples. Now you must reread your essay and try to correct some small errors and run-on sentences.
Some suggestions:
Paragraph 1
"I feel strongly that school authority should spend their available budgets..."
"I feel strongly that the school authorities should spend their available resources..."
Authorities is more idiomatic that authority, plus it matches your pronoun.
Rather than write: "In the first place, in the second place," you can simply write, First, Second..."