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Posted by patcharanee.u on May 20, 19102 at 23:31:31:

In Reply to: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.[this is the first paragraph of it. I would really appreciate it if you can fix some grammar mistakes and tell me the better way. Please, because I'm taking TOEFL TOMORROW!!!] posted by ***TOEFL is my life***[toefl lover] on May 18, 19102 at 12:32:19:

: As people living in a city increases, most of the children are grown up in the city. Most people tend to think that educations in the cities are better, so some people even move out from the countries to the cities just for their children's education. However, growing up in a country let children learn things freely in the nature, without having better educations as what people believe the cities can offer. I agree that it is better for children to grow up in a countryside.

I think that the first sentence you'd better express your opinion that you agree or disagree with the topic given , then specify the reasons step by step to convince others and finally,you sum up your idea. I think you do not know how to begin and how to use the sentences to specify reasons. You shoud learn how to use conjunctions and preposition giving the reasons and those that link cause and effect and preposition giving examples-such as,like,for example,for instance,as well.

patcharanee.u

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Thank you, but in fact ,my English skill is only fair and still do not get Toefl score 550. patcharanee.u 01:17:22 5/30/102 (0)
Hope you did well! Michele Peters 15:13:03 5/25/102 (1)
- Thank you patcharanee.u 21:43:08 5/29/102 (0)

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: : As people living in a city increases, most of the children are grown up in the city. Most people tend to think that educations in the cities are better, so some people even move out from the countries to the cities just for their children's education. However, growing up in a country let children learn things freely in the nature, without having better educations as what people believe the cities can offer. I agree that it is better for children to grow up in a countryside. : : I think that the first sentence you'd better express your opinion that you agree or disagree with the topic given , then specify the reasons step by step to convince others and finally,you sum up your idea. I think you do not know how to begin and how to use the sentences to specify reasons. You shoud learn how to use conjunctions and preposition giving the reasons and those that link cause and effect and preposition giving examples-such as,like,for example,for instance,as well. : patcharanee.u

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